Brainwashing Tool #8: The telephone

Posted on 23. Sep, 2008 by admin in Brainwashing, Combating, Exposing the methods, Visitation

When you have your kid for your visitation time, oftentimes the other parent knows he/she has only one way of brainwashing your kid during those days. The tool used?

The telephone/cellphone.

The alienating parent will try one or several of the following tactics:

1. Keep the child on the phone for a long time
2. Inquire in a negative spirit how the visit is going. Instead of “tell me what you did today,” the sentiment more like “Are you doing OK?” “How much do you miss me?”
3. Tell the child about a big surprise awaiting him/her upon their return
4. Tell the child how much the parent misses them, that the time apart is very difficult

Tags: , ,

5 Responses to “Brainwashing Tool #8: The telephone”

  1. Leslie

    28. Jul, 2009

    I don’t do all of this, the boys usually keep me on the phone telling me all the fun stuff they have been doing or my littlest one is breaking down because he misses me so much, when he does that I try to point out all the fun he is having with daddy and the grandparents, animals…ect. I tell him I miss him too, but there are X amount of days till he comes home and that I want him to have as much fun as possible before that time. I try not to get emotional when he does, I never cry (till I get off the phone) and I try not to say anything to make it worse. I do however ask my oldest if he is ok, quite often. Only because he has a very negative attitude towards me since he got to his dad’s and I want to make sure or try to make sure its not because of something I have done. Am I wrong in these things that I have done?

  2. admin

    29. Jul, 2009

    First, don’t count down the # of days for him. Just remind him “You’ll have a fun time with your Daddy, now what did you do today?” Distract him with a new topic. Don’t hover over the parent-child time he’s having. Also, don’t ask your oldest if “he is OK.” That immediately infers that you think that he’s NOT OK. Always talk with the assumption that your children are happy, and be happy yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be a Linus blanket for your kids to hold onto when they’re with your ex. If they need to express their unhappiness with you, let them, of course. But be a strong parent and be positive about their time with their Dad or Mom.

    The fact that your oldest speaks of his fun times speaks VOLUMES. Younger kids will have a harder time, and crying for you is really normal. Again, if he’s crying, take in his concerns and let him know you understand but that he’ll see you soon enough, and then divert his attention to a new topic. I like saying, “So what fun did you do today or yesterday?”

  3. Emilia Anello

    19. Oct, 2009

    I definately have this problem. My son has a cell phone that his dad pays for. It is on him 24 hours a day while in my home and it seems they call him or he calls them on it for 24 hours! I have just been accused of threatening to take his phone in order to keep him from communicating with his dad, which is complete BS!! Everytime I walk into his room it seems he is on that phone and either hiding it or lowering the volume so I can’t hear what is being said!

  4. Dave

    08. Nov, 2009

    My ex and I have been divorced for 9 years and suddenly this summer she is doing the same thing with my son. She can’t afford to help pay dental or other medical bills, but has bought him the newest most expensive cell phone and is constatnly asking him when he’s going to move out. He’s only 13 and has been with me his whole life. He has a strong network of friends and activities, but since this summer she has manipulated him by telling him untruths. She then printed out laws regarding custody changes and highlighted areas for him to take to a judge. She said all he has to do is call for a cab and go to the judge. I offered to take him to a judge myself, because I can’t bear the thought of a 13 year old boy running away due to her brainwashing him. I don’t understand her sudden change in judgement towards my son’s living environment. He’s a happy go lucky kid who wants to please all. I can’t imagine the burden of thought in his developing mind. Teenage years are tough enough without all the other aggrevation she is stirring up. At this point I don’t know what to do. I’m sure ignoring the situation is wrong, but I don’t want it to be the subject of our lives either.

  5. Jess

    28. Dec, 2009

    My boyfriend’s ex doesn’t let him talk to the kids. She simply doesn’t answer the phone. And I disagree about the fact that children have a cell phone at age 4 and 5. His kids are almost 4 and one is 6, and neither of them have a cell phone.

    He and his ex wife are not legally separated, nor are they divorced, and she pulls crap like that all the time. We agreed to pick up his kid’s Christmas day at 2. She did not answer texts, nor calls all day. We never saw them.

    It is sad the kind of power that woman has, and they are definitely brainwashed over at their mother’s home. Pulling crap like, “you have a new last name.”

    What is even more sad, is that this woman thinks she is hurting the dad. Well yeah, of course he’s upset. But did you stop to think about what this may be doing to your own kids?

Leave a Reply