How taking “ownership” of a child hurts them
Posted on 14. Sep, 2008 by admin in Brainwashing, Combating, Divorce, Exposing the methods
All parents feel a bond to their child. But a good percentage of parents take this bond to a new level, approaching ownership. They feel like that child belongs to them, while the ex is relegated to a legally-obligated role in the child’s life.
This is indicative of a very needy parent, for starters. A strong person, after all, would want their child to have both a mother and father bond.
But these parents take the role of dictator in the child’s life, wishing their ex would simply wither up and go away. They would much rather “own” their child and have the ex never appear again in the child’s life, than share the responsibilities of raising the child.
It’s amazing how a parent can put their own needs in front of their children’s. But it happens all the time. These power-obsessed, bitter, emotionally immature parents don’t care what damage they do to their children’s psyche. They don’t even think they’re doing anything harmful, they’re so wrapped up in their emotions.
How to cope with such “ownership”-inclined parents? See your kid(s) as often as possible. Use the courts if necessary to attempt at custody (sometimes this is the only way to get the brainwashing to subside– but even that is optimistic).
Above all, use your actions to convey your love to your children. There is a good chance that your efforts will be rewarded at some point down the line. In fact, a very good chance…
5 Responses to “How taking “ownership” of a child hurts them”
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Kelly Brown
12. Jun, 2009
Hi, very nice post. I have been wonder’n bout this issue,so thanks for posting
Tricia Nagel
21. Sep, 2009
What happens when the other parent is so abusive and overbearing that they make you feel like you don’t want them involved because they refuse to stop abusing? Its like a nightmare. What do you do when you learn that this secret abuse has been going on for years behind your back and it is just a natural part of their personality? What do you do when the other parent is a professionally diagnosed narcississist who refuses any treatment? What if the other parent is a abusive control freak? Its not that I don’t want my children to have their father in their life…I want him to leave them alone mentally and physically and be the loving, caring, person that he pretends to be in front of everyone else.
geb
30. Aug, 2010
I have in desperation, after many efforts to bring the problem to light reverted to telling my daughter, who is 15 now, that the source of our problem lies in her mother’s egoism. She reacted with vehemence, but she is not totally unaware of her mother’s nature of playing one against the other.
I am though anxious of the result. What can I do? I see an intelligent girl slowly turning into a kind of a zombie, beside herself.
Francis
21. Dec, 2010
My ex waited for our daughter to turned 12 years old to take me to court to revert the original divorce decree. He got temporarily, but I am very sad to see that my daughter refuses to spend any time ith us (2nd husband and our 2 year old boy) she hates me and finds every opportunity to let me know. She demands for me to buy her expensive clothing, shoes, purses etc, and when I dont do it, she calls me cheap and that I dont care for her.
I am getting into a very bad depression and feel hopeless, I am originally from Mexico and my daughter gets embarrased if I go to her school, she has prohibited from me doingit. I just cant find a wayto overcome my ex’s narcississm, I need to find a suport group in San Antonio Texas.
bill haines
27. Feb, 2011
I just hope my sixteen year old son finds his way I feel as if I have lost him . their just isnt any help out their . the more I tried the more venomous she has gotten . I have trumped up assault charges on me my probation is no contact with my son . I try to call and he hangs up on me and the schools refuse to help . counselors and the psychiatric communities hands seem to be tied