Brainwashing technique #4: Transferring hurt feelings and frustrations onto a child

Posted on 07. Jan, 2009 by admin in Brainwashing, Divorce, Exposing the methods

Brainwashing childrenBrainwashing a child usually begins as frustrations, hurt, and contempt towards you by your ex. He or she feels betrayed, wronged, is quite bitter about the separation or divorce, and believes the child needs to know about these strong feelings.

Here, emotion trumps logic and good parenting. A parent makes a decision to bring the child into the separation/divorce mix, and from there the trend is rarely good—- in fact, the trend is usually towards more and more badmouthing the other parent. No matter how frustrated a parent becomes, getting the child to align against the other parent is terribly wrong. A mature parent would instead deal with the ex, and keep the child out of it.

This good parent would think, “Well, one day the child will see their parent for who he/she is, and I’m not going to be the one to slant my kid in one direction. It’s not right for me to do so, and it could even backfire one day.”

People involved in separations and divorces WILL have negative feelings towards the other parent, but it’s time for parents to act like adults and stop putting children in the crossfire. Getting a child to dislike or outright despise the other parent isn’t just wrong—it’s child abuse.

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One Response to “Brainwashing technique #4: Transferring hurt feelings and frustrations onto a child”

  1. Leslie

    28. Jul, 2009

    I am going through this. I keep my mouth shut about my ex at all costs. I never ever say a negative about their father in front of them or even where I am afraid they may hear me. I often leave it for when they are not even around. But him and his family on the other hand have nothing but negative things to say about me. I was the one wronged, cheated on the entire time from before we were married until I finally left 5 1/2 yrs later. I finally got sick of being a fool for staying and so I left. Now I am the one who is being bashed to our small sons and it has been going on since they were 3 and 5, they are now 6 and 8. I have to watch them leave every summer only to get them back and they hate me and have all of these horrible things to say to me that their dad or grandmother has said. I’ve confronted them both and they deny it, they call the boys liars in not so many words. I keep my mouth shut because I do not see it as my place to tell them how I feel about him, it has nothing to do with them. I try my hardest to be a great mom and most times I feel like I am. I am a struggling student and single mom about to graduate only to have my ex tell my children that I am a loser and a liar and I steal money from him. That we are poor because I am too lazy to work, that I am not really going to school for anything, just wasting money and time. That I use all of their child support on myself and not them because I don’t buy them toys or new clothes every chance I get. Nothing I do is good enough for him, not that I ever thought it would be and not that I care, but he does put these horrible things into my childrens minds and make them question who I really am. Because they want to love us both and they want to believe us both. I am just so lost and have no idea what to do anymore. In a few weeks I will have to reprogram my children after 5 weeks with their dad. I am so scared that one day, I won’t be able to do it, that they will never believe in me because of his lies. I am a scared and lost momma, ho loves her children with every fiber of her being, yet I have to battle with my ex to prove it to my children. It is not fair at all.

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