Comments on: When your ex places your child into counseling after every visit

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 15:38:24 +0000

Just a thought….for seven years my ex and I seemed to be coparenting fine. No problems. When my oldest turned 14 suddenly it all changed. He decided he wanted custody. That is when he started a campaign to belittle me and my family. One year later…a straight A student, athlete who won awards, and an all around normal kid is claiming depression and suicidal thoughts. I had never put her in therapy because no one saw a problem. Not her teachers. Not her friends. Not even the ex. No one, but when it came down to it. She went to live with her dad to “cure “her depression. 15 is the year that our local judicial system gives the children a voice. Of course Dad is more permissive and allows her to date on school nights etc….

I immediately put my 11 year old twins in therapy and I won’t take them out until they graduate from high school. If I had placed my oldest in therapy….maybe we could have talked about her desire to try the other house rather than an unexpected claim of depression. Non custodial parents can brainwash too. His family and friends do it openly. They will tell all of my daughters that I have less “rights” to the children because I get to see them all the time. I hear them telling them to get off the phone when we are talking. Sometimes weeks go by in the summer and I can only text because everytime I call they are too “busy.” Dad is more subtle and careful than his family and new wife. I wish I had placed all of my children in therapy. I thought that since we weren’t fighting all was well. I thought that I should roll with it when I couldn’t talk to the children in the summer. They were having fun…right? It only takes one parent to decide to systematically dismantle your child’s confidence in you and your decisions. Of course…he might have a different story. Just a thought… I wanted to stay positive about their father and I am hoping the therapist can explain why it is ok for us to talk on the phone in the summer time. Why both houses are my children’s homes not just Dad’s house. Why their school is ok and they don’t have to transfer to his school district because their school is suddenly two years behind his local school. (of course test scores show the school performing above average and our children are performing in the advanced range) Some of the ideas they are saying are clearly adult ideas. I have never met an 11 year old who cared about the anual yearly progress of a school before. An 11 year old who tries to convince their mom that Daddy loves them more because he bought them horses, he just bought them new furninture, and because he would let them color their hair in the summer might need someone to talk to about how it is ok for each parent to be different and that those differences were normal. Of course…I gave him the phone number of the therapist before the first session unlike some of the parents mentioned above.

By: Diana

Diana — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 22:56:04 +0000

Wow! At least you guys found out about the counseling before getting a call to release records to your ex-spouse’s attorney. However, I did file complaints which will never undo the unjust, ethically, morally wrong things which happened and my ex did get custody changed and me placed with supervised visitation. Once this situation has fully evolved, now 3 years later, we are dealing with deprogramming of parental alienation. I didn’t recognize it early, but I encourage you to look into this subject, find a great psychologist who the court systems use, known, and trust. I did receive the records of my child’s visit after calling the therapist… I was very angry. I feel they were altered after my call since most notes read Mother of child does not know about counseling. Just makes you wonder, when you are supposed to be the problem, why aren’t you going to counseling…

By: Jeff Ryker

Jeff Ryker — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 20:30:07 +0000

This is exactly what happened to me. I still have only been given a 20 word treatment plan, no progress notes. The therapist is firmly alligned with the mother. My daughter is 12 and an honor student, athlete and tons of friends. I have had joint legal custody and “visitation” 12-14 days/mo. And yet my daughter states she does not know why she is going to counseling and she is and has been happy. The real reason for her counseling is mom’s 3rd attempt to modify custody. She has learned a little trick. take your child to a counselor, say bad things about the dad and manipulate her into buying into her assertions. After 9 years of shared and successful custody one would think this would not happen, but it does. Oh, the therapist even issued report making me sound worse the Charles Manson, I have met briefly with her on 3 occasions… yet she issues recommendation that I have little to no contact. Wow. We did just settle, I and my daughter lost 3 days/mo. I did file complaint with state licensing board, only recourse.

Frustrated in Oklahoma