Comments on: Other ways of describing the Brainwashing of Children

By: Diane

Diane — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 16:28:19 +0000

I am the step-mom of a 12 year old boy. I came into the picture when he was 2 years old. He loved me, and I loved and still loved him. He adored and hung on every word his father (my husband) said. His daddy was his hero. When he was 4 his mother had planned to kidnapp him and take him from Texas to California, but we found out and wen through the court for a restraining order. The matter had to be heard in court. They assigned a GAL, and a Social Worker to the case. The mom lied and said it was for 6 months and she only just found out 2 days before we went to court, yet she had signed a lease in CA almost 2 months before we went (we didn’t know this at the time). Both parents found to be fit, and she said it was for 6 months tops then she would be returning to Texas with him. GAL and SW decided it wouldn’t be detrimental for 6 months and since Mom wouldn’t be working while there, it would be okay, but he had to have monthly visitation w/ Dad.
The 6 months, came and went and the relationship grew further and further apart. Mom was so super mad that we found out and cost her a LOT of money in court just to get to CA with her new husband. They were then allowed by the courts after almost a year to move to Nebraska. The 1 time per month visiation which begain 9am on Sat. and ended at 4pm on Sun (hardly any time at all with the child) had to be carried out in a hotel as it was too far. The relationship further deteriorated. Mom was ticket because we again cost her tons of money in court to go to Nebraska.

Mom moved back to Texas 2 years later, but almost 2.5 hours away. Dad got 1,3, 5th weekends, but Mom put son in football, baseball, etc. That was on the weekends so we didn’t get him on Friday night, we went to his games on Saturday and brought him back home with us. This gave us less than 1.5 days together visitation. Sometimes he didn’t want ot go with us because his friends were having a party that evening, or doing something he wanted to do. He was 8 at this point. This occured about every other visitation. My husband argued with his son that he missed him and wanted time with him, the time that he had rights too and started saying no to the all the extra activities on his weekends. It was a loosing battle and the relationship further deterioriated. They moved yet again to another town in Texas (5th relocation) he is now 10. He get’s involved in football, baseball, basketball and his grades are horrible, yet his mother still lets him play all these sports, which are further cause for him not wanting to come to our house for visitation (through local youth group which his step-dad runs).

This year we’ve seen him 2 weekends. His mom leaves with him before we get there, or he refuses to get in the car with us. He says it’s us. How can it be when we never get to see him. Could it really be over his dad wanting time with him? Time away from his mom and his buddies so they can get to know each other? After finding this website, I’m convinced it’s brainwashing. His step-dad has told him many times his dad should just sign over rights to him since he doesn’t care anyway. Mom calls dad piss-poor in front of the child. Mom helps him miss visitation. Mom has him call his step-dad, Dad but use to get pissed at him when he would call me Mom and told hmi not to do any more. Mom even one time took him the 4 hour drive to our exchange point when they were in NE, on a day that wasn’t ours, and then told him if his daddy loved him, he would be there to see him.

The courts have always ruled in her favor, but I don’t understand why. His Daddy loves him a lot, he pays his child support, and has gone to all of his games that he could (sometimes he has to work weekends) and that he knew about (she would often claim that she didn’t have a schedule and send us to the website for the youth group and there wouldn’t be anything there-keep in mind her husband is over the youth group).

This child hates us both now and we barely ever see him. He is about to turn 13. We are going to back to court next month with over 20 contempts. What can we do to get the court to take this seriously and see what is really going on???

By: admin

admin — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 02:38:22 +0000

Hello everyone, this is John, the owner of this blog.

Thanks for sharing your heartfelt personal stories of lies and emotional abuse.

Please visit the newly opened FORUMS here at BWC, it’s a much better way to discuss these issues. Here’s a direct link:

http://www.brainwashingchildren.com/forums. See you over there!

By: Sam

Sam — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 15:14:15 +0000

This site has been a blessing, cause i know im not crazy and have a mental illness as descibed by a recent family councelling session. He, my ex has destroyed my relationship with my daughters. Im heart broken and needed answers cause all the important people are not listening, or believe me. Thankyou.

By: mary

mary — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 23:36:00 +0000

Teaching hate
Attack on the child’s soul
Parental alienation
Sabotaging the parent-child bond
Aligning the child against the parent
Poisoning the child’s mind
Inducing false hatred
Stealing the child’s soul
Crushing/killing the child’s spiritCrushing/killing the child’s spirit
Relationship is under attack
Erasing or rewriting the child’s good memories
Bashing the parent
Denying a loving relationship
Programming
Squashing the child’s desire for a relationship
Mental torture
Mental torment
Badmouthing the parent
Instill hatred where love once existed
Campaign to destroy the parent-child relationship
Mental or psychological child abuse
Emotional child abuse
Denying the child the love of one of his/her parents
Teaching hate
Attack on the child’s soul
Parental alienation
Sabotaging the parent-child bond
Aligning the child against the parent
Poisoning the child’s mind
Inducing false hatred
Stealing the child’s soul
Crushing/killing the child’s spirit

I was subjected to all of these over 30 years.. under the guise of religious rightous fanaticism never apologetic; one parent mixed with, the other; freedom, independence loving, shamefully apologetic for both, yet continues to behave the same. I was never fooled by their selfishness, though at times I questioned the other parent’s love based on what one said to alienate me from the other. The power of doubt weighs heavily in the conscious of a child who wishes for love and approval. the sadistic acts of these two people I call Mom and Dad are not all the time, yet like any irrational bipolar relationship it has it’s ups and downs. i was born into believing parents are the most selfish, evil people on the planet for their direct causal of inflicting such great damage. generation after generation of decisive self denial, lack of personal reflection with action to improve. Now it’s my job to give myself the childhood I never had, be my own healthy parents, find a need to fill without seeking other’s approval foremost, and discover what a healthy relationship really is.

By: Mary

Mary — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 23:21:19 +0000

I believe some of these responses were posted by inebriated minors…Some very informative. That said. My parent’s emotionally and mentally abused me. i am now 30, I knew what that was and it was wrong of them before I could walk, I was informed what to call it when I was 7-8 years old from visiting police to my 3rd grade. My parents constantly fought, and enjoyed the terrorizing effects this had. My mother would say my Dad would come home if he had a boy to play ball with before i was 3. when my brother was born, things did change. My mother blamed me for her post partem depression from pregnancy with me and began doting on my brother. I was to be his protector and big sis. I adored him and then my Mother started pitting him against me, not making him share like I had to, punishing me for things he did and the things I did. He realized before he could walk that he would get positive attention for blaming me for anything, even nothing and I would be punished, shamed and ignored. After I learned this was emotional and mental abuse I accused my parents of this, they said I was too young to know what I was talking about. When calling my Father at work wouldn’t help my Mother and Brother’s malicious ganging up on me, name calling. I was 6 the first time I threatened to call the police, I was made to be terrified of foster care at this notion and didn’t try again. My mother convinced my Father and Brother it was a good idea, aligning against me, they would collectively ridicule me, for having a security blanket at 5, for being afraid of anything or ever crying, calling me a cry baby, then as I regressed further into myself and my imaginary world, they collectively made fun of me and said I was schizophrenic, or I would be when I got older ( after crying for days I was informed this was in order to protect me from being institutionalized when I was older). I stopped sharing anything with them and I cried myself to sleep almost every night until I was 11 and decided to stop. My brother was allowed to terrorize me, along with his friends all throughout to adolescence. I have a friend from age 7 who collaborates this finely. I was 11 when I finally demanded a room to myself (for my sanity’s sake more then appropriate privacy) I was given and unheated and uncooled room in the front of the house completely filled with boxes save for space for a mattress on the floor, not my half the bunk bed left for my brother’s friends to use, I was not allowed to decorate, and made fun of for any attempts to personalize my space, and had to keep the door open at all times even while changing, until I demanded decency, which my mother would open randomly, sometimes with company over, the door was an accordion wall and could open over 4′ wide. She would “helicopter” hover over me when ever I did homework, every 5 to 10 minutes on the dot, to the infuriating point of distraction, so i did my work haphazardly on the way to school or in class. She would discuss any and every whim about how bad I was to all of my aunts with children, none of whom would return the exchange of their own children knowing she would only begin to demonize their children as well. I tried to run away from home at 5 and did for an evening at 14 to a friend’s foster family. My brother hates me for having forced us to go to counseling as my “compromise” to come home, which was provided by the state free, and was a group disaster. I had no support and was utterly alone to the point of becoming suicidal once, in which my Father caught me in the act of searching for a knife in the dark at his office one night, said I could always talk to him, we would try to figure something out, then never brought it up again. I had been groomed to be attracted to abusers. so all of my friends in high school were exceptionally abusive, usually with the excuse I was skinny and pretty, they would sleep with my boyfriends when I would not, they would stalk and harass me, and defame me at any cost, one girl who had taken a liking to my father and called him Dad, 4 years later nearly was expelled and not allowed to graduate for threatening to have her boyfriend kill me. She had previously spent a Summer 3 years earlier calling and threatening to shoot me and another mutual friend because I had been able to appeal to her better judgement at not ostracizing me for size discrimination.
Despite all of this I graduated from a nationally renowned high school, and proceeded to put myself part time through 5 years of College, while working full time and double-time over summers to save, with some savings bond assistance from my Grandparents. Completing 3 years of a 4 year degree A/B student, when I finally had another mental breakdown from burnout, as perfectionist eldest child of an alcoholic (Father) will tend to do. Anxiety attacks forced me back to seek counseling and I was convinced after no progress to take antidepressants, when I found out my brother went to jail as I had predicted a year to the day earlier for our parent’s enabling him to sell and do drugs. I was methodically overdosed by the psychiatrist and family doctor to the point of loosing my job, school, and ability to stay awake…. 6 years later I am still scraping my life back together, with a continuously abusive family, and fictitious support of “friends”, and extended family, who expect me to help them when asked, or truer friends who are at a loss of how to assist me in recovery. I was not born a victim, I was groomed to be one, and as I struggle to reassert my independence I find the systems in place to aid, inefficient, jaded, or heavily weighted to assist certain other special needs. As I go out to vote today, I consider my life’s struggles to shape my decisions in all that I do. I love my family despite all their faults, and realize that the 30 odd specialist I have seen over the years to all have had a hand in helping me break the fear of rejection and abandonment keeping me from truly being free of my oppressors and truly feel sorry for their insistent need to bully, and condition new bullies, to feel superior..I fight my own faults, and humbly grieve my losses of self, childhood, and a healthy family outlook. Public school was my daily bastion and safe haven until I felt safe enough to leave on my own. Abusers will not admit their faults, nor correct them unless they truly have a personal change of conscience.

By: Jamie Main

Jamie Main — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 21:52:55 +0000

Thank you so much for this site. I don’t feel so alone anymore. Tell me, how do you convince the courts, police etc. that the other parent is lying about you and emotionally destroying your children? He is such a convincing liar…

By: Amy

Amy — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 02:37:37 +0000

You know the saddest part about all of this…is that we sit here blaming him or her or Daddy, or Mommy…lawyers make a good living off of the destruction of families. There are good people/parents and there are bad. But what makes the system operate the way it does is our corrupted legal system which knows that whether your’re male or female….there’s a good chance you’ll fight to see you kids. So what did lawyers/politicians create? They created a system which gives women unfail advantage in court over men. Why? Well I believe (and if you look how courts proceed it seems clear to me) that it’s set up this way to promote time in court which for an attorney/politician…that’s good money. It’s all a game that politicians, attorneys, judges have been playing with families for years and people just accept it now. Look at the system they created. First, lets agree that divorce is usually very difficult on the kids unless of course you need to remove the child from that environment. But in reality, the percentage of that are very low. Typically it’s the mother/father who need to work on things..but the kids end up suffering, and parents end up paying for it in legal fees but it’s never a satisfactory solution.

So what have they set up…well, we have:
No fault divorce: Now you don’t even need a reason to get a divorce…there’s easy money for some unethical attorney. Destroy a family that probably could have been saved and make good money doing it.

States get Federal money for every person who enteres the Single Custodial Parent role: Lots of people don’t know this…but it all makes sense. Get as many people into the divorce machine as you can and crank up those Single Custodial Parent” numbers so that the state gets more federal money. That’s a win/win situation for the state and attorneys. The state gets the federal money but you as a father for instance don’t see that federal money….no no…you have to pay child support. So you are paying for your kids even thuogh you only see them a fraction of the time, while the state collects a check from uncle sam. Of course attorneys make out because they represent the fool who thinks he/she will get any justice in this legal system run by self serving politicians, lawyers, judges.

Women put at an unfair advantage over men: This just sets men up so that if they want any justice..they’re going to have to pay $10,000 plus for it! Again, nice job if you’re an attorney.

So how can it be fixed quickly? FIrst, divorce should never be promoted when young kids are involved. The court should do whatever it can to do what’s right for the kids. So first, judges need to start asking question when the papers are filed for divorce. If the couple has no children…easier case. If they have children…get to the root of the problem in the marriage. Who filed and why?

Pass laws that put the parents on equal terms. When it comes to custody…it should be 50/50 by default and the parties can change that if they agree to.

Get rid of alimony…this should have gone above…if a person files for divorce…they should have NO RIGHT to file for alimony unless there is a good reason. Instead, alimony is always there so again, you give someone a gun (out legal system), you give them a bullet (alimoney), and attornyes hope that with that power, someone will go after alimony or pull that trigger…why? Because they can.

Oh lets not forget restraining orders. It’s way to easy to get a restraining order. Talk about Parental alienation. Again there is only ONE reason why you pass, or set up laws like this, to increase court time and money made in court.

Some laws like the 50/50 custody could be easily put in place but by doing that…people won’t have anything to go to court to fight over and pay attorneys fees.

You get what you subsidize….if you want people to go to court, then you simply give unfair advantage to a different group. You “subsidize” them so that in order to fight them in court, you have to pay. They do too…but the point is, they have an unfair advantage and were given things that they should not have been given without some level of investigation….and again, there is no investigation unless you go to trial….which again, costs thousands. It’s quite I nice little system they’ve created. Totally unfair and people have come to accept it….that is, unless they get sucked into it themselves.

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 28 May 2010 18:00:04 +0000

I live this everyday………..I am afraid of my son’s father, I’m in a relationship with him and truly afraid to leave and cut ties completely for my son’s sake. Help!!! Please, any advice I would greatly appreciate, I know it is going to be a long, drawn out nasty court battle once again, but I just need to prove that this emotional abuse is going on!!

By: Kayla Ramos

Kayla Ramos — Wed, 19 May 2010 03:09:46 +0000

I think my ex is hurting my 3 yr old baby girl and saying that her step father made him do it. She comes back with bruises and has nightmares everynight. She wont have anything to do with my husband, and she accuses him of terrible things that he didn’t do. She came home from his house saying that “Poppy hit her and kicked her and punched her and that her Daddy was going to break Poppy.” Poppy is her step father. We dont even spank the kids. He has never hurt her in any way. She throws tempertantrums all the time saying Poppy tell me No! But that is all he did to her. He is afraid to have anything to do with her. When he tries to hold her or hug her, she busts out screaming she wants her mommy and tries to get away from him as quickly as possible. You could see the hurt on his face. He has known her since she was 6 months old, but they didnt see each other for a couple of years after that, but they talked on the phone the whole time. We have called the police and DSS and they wont help us. What do you do when someone is hurting your child and the only people who could help choose not to? I feel helpless and useless. My hands are tied. I cant keep her here with me because my ex and I are court ordered to split the week with her. If I break it, I lose custody and wont be able to do anything to help her. What in the hell do I do?

By: kindness

kindness — Sat, 01 May 2010 09:14:34 +0000

I live in canton ohio. I have 2 kids in foster care. my case worker want my 2 kids to be put for adoption. Im not giving up on mu 2 kids. we need to all come together. we have to stop cps & family court. cps is all about lies & money. we need a good strong fighting organization in all states. we have to keep fighting for all of our kids & rights. We need a organization here in ohio. I would like for anyone in ohio to contact me. my e-mail is kindnessohio33@yahoo.com or u can contact me on fb. It is time we wake up ohio. I need a lot of help & support. A lot of parents dont have money for a good attorney. we can all come together to help bring our kids home