Destroying Dad’s Dignity
Posted on 23. Aug, 2011 by admin in Exposing the methods
Thousands of fathers across America right now are viewed by their children in a disdainful, disrespecting way, brought about by badmouthing and brainwashing.
Even a father who is in jail and has done horrible things does not deserve a verbal attack. Adults can comment all they want on him, but when it comes to the kids, children should never have to encounter an adult who destroys their father’s dignity, even if that father is in jail.
The importance of a father and a mother to children is unrivaled. As such, no ex-wife, mother-in-law, or anybody else should trash the father in front of that father’s own children. Yet that’s what’s happening across America every day. Divorce and children born out of wedlock have caused many mothers to take out their hurt and anger on the “flawed” father by directly enrolling the children in their contempt and hatred.
The direct route for these bad parents to ease their hurt is to destroy Dad’s dignity. It ranges from saying how Daddy never loved Mommy, and doesn’t love the child either, to falsely accusing him of rape, physical abuse, or molestation. The most common way of lessening Daddy’s worth is by addressing him by his first name, and teaching the child to do the same. So Daddy becomes identified by his first name, “David.” Teaching a child to stop calling his Dad, “Dad,” is destructive beyond measure.
The goal is to impugn Dad’s worth as a father and as a human being. If the child is young enough, a parent can successfully diminish in the child’s eyes his or her own Daddy.
Any attempt to destroy a child’s connection to a parent should be punishable by law. But because it’s hard to prove, this kind of child abuse is enacted on children everywhere with virtually zero consequences for the abusive parent.
Destroying Dad’s dignity– or manufacturing a lie to a child that their father is not worthy of their love and affection– happens far too often. The best action for fathers at the receiving end of this is to stay the course. Stay in your child’s life. Keep the phone calls, emails, and texts coming. Document, document, and document again the abuse, and contact a lawyer if you have evidence of your ex mentally abusing your child.
Never give up!
15 Responses to “Destroying Dad’s Dignity”
Leave a Reply
Joe
31. Aug, 2011
I was accused of hitting my daughter and threatening to kill her. It was all a lie to take my daughter from me by her mother. It was proven in court that this was a lie. The judge talked to my then 12yo daughter and said she was lying. The child shrink (worthless people) said the ex wife was using parental alienation, but not in a vindictive manner and recommended that my 12yo make the choice of seeing me or not. Well it isnt rocket science, you have a mom who lied to take the kid away and now you give her full control and expect things to get better. This was 5 years ago. As you may have guessed I no longer see my daughter. She never calls or visits. She is indiffenent to me. I and my family do not exist for her. I miss her very much. I go to her job and visit with her for 5 minutes just to say hello, ask about school, work and such. I text her every week just to say I love you. But I get nothing in return. I am not sure how much longer I can keep doing this.
Mike McD
18. Sep, 2011
I feel for you Joe. My last phone conversation with my daughter was 5 years ago. She was 15. She called to yell me the reason she was calling was she was legally obligated to do so. Things like that don’t come from the mouths of children. They are from the vindictive parent who has effectually conducted a parent alienation plan for many years. She’s turning 21 this December and is slowly seeing what her mother was doing. Especially since she spent most of the child support money so She could attend LAW SCHOOL. That’s right, she used to law to become a part of the problem.
Kit
08. Oct, 2011
My daughter just turned 9 last sep. in 2010 my exwife used a lie about taking my child on vacation to manipulate my daughter into saying that i had slapped her across the face, they never went on any vacation but i did loose all my visitation which at the time was every other weekend from fri.-tue. i have been in supervised visits since the iddle of march this year. since this all transpired i have 2 psyc. and the woman who suppervise us saying that the mother is bad mouthing me to my child and has been for the last 3 years, all i have ever wanted was for her motherr to stop this action and love our child the way any child deserves to be loved but im at an impass with things here in kansas and the welfair of my child is diminishing in her mothers house i feel badly for my daughter but my hands are tied by the courts and they are reluctant to do anything about it.
Nick Mansfield
12. Oct, 2011
Those stories are heartbreaking. You cant trust the authorities as most of them are taken in by the women. They believe their stories and then when they discover they were all lies ,the damage has been done to your child by the brainwashing mother. In Ireland the courts are quite fair and can see through their lies, however if the mother doesn’t show up to court, it is another month to get her back. I had a bench warrant executed on my ex to get her to come to court to answer breach of access orders. There is also production of children orders where the abducting mother has to produce the child in court. We have to get the law changed where a woman or man who denies access can be arrested immediately. Its the only way to stop these deranged control freaks. The damage they are doing to the next generation.
David A
14. Oct, 2011
Here is a video of my experience with spousal abuse and parental alienation. I was married to someone who I knew had a high-conflict personality, but I was completely blindsided by what happened during our divorce. I hope others will learn from my experience and will take measures to protect their children before it’s too late. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks.
Warning, strong language.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJDsruc-xxg
RnBram
03. Dec, 2011
David A, public viewing of your video is blocked as “private”.
mybrokenheart
27. Dec, 2011
It is disgusting what the court system and these type of parents do to our system….My son thinks he rules the world…He has been brainwashed for years and years against me, slowly and slowly without me realizing it. After he was remarried, he stopped paying child support, talked so bad about me and 3 years in the court system he is 14 and finally able to make a decision to where he wants to go…Dads? This is a child who could not wait till he was 16 so he could never see him again. I always told him “don’t talk like that, he’s your father, he loves you he just shows you in different ways”….How they let TEENAGERS, who are so moody, make decisions (unless it was an abusive home or a parent is on drugs or something) is something I keep pounding my head about. I am sad and heartbroken and sick at how the courts failed me. Believe me, there is NO more to this story than what is stated. He took me for a downward mod, after not paying ME for a year and a half and three years later filed for custody and may get my son based on my son saying he wants to live there..Unbelievable!
Adrian
29. Dec, 2011
Don’t worry guys this happens in Australia as well, I have not seen either of my children in over 4 weeks after their mother alleged that I had sexually assaulted my 3 year old daughter. Needless to say this was yet another false allegation.
I used to wonder why Dad’s do really bad things after a divorce or separation, now I know why. Men have no power and the Courts will never help us.
Gary
03. Jan, 2012
How do you fight this and WIN!!! My ex has absolutely destroyed my relationship with my two children. The courts allowed my children the right to decide if they wish to come or not. They were not even teenagers……
I have been so kicked around by the courts, it is sickening!!!!
She was able to get a TPO on me with absolutely nothing in my background(arrests or incidents) to give the judge any indication I was a threat other than that I own 2 firearms.
I am so disgusted with the family law system. I know without a doubt I have a severe case of “Parental Alienation” but these lazy judges are difficult to motivate. They think every man that walks into the courtroom is guilty of some misconduct in the relationship which just is not true.
How do you fight????? I can’t lose my children…….
Ross
09. Jan, 2012
Joe, I feel that I too will be following that same devastating path if I can’t do something about it as I am about to go through divorce, my 10 yo boy is very close to me, and we both love each other immensely, no amount of brainwashing on him will work, he is smart and sees straight through her, he tells me of the things she does and says about me to other people, all her plans of how she is going to “Destroy” me during the Divorce and so forth, he comes and tells me everything. She has in a way given up on him as we have something special and she is getting nowhere from her brainwashing antics.
However, my daughter is 4, she and I too have a special bond, but not as strong yet as she is young, spends most of her time with mum as she takes her everywhere with her, she used to love coming with me and my son on the boat, to the beach, fishing, camping, visiting friends and so forth, but when she hears that I have plans to do something with the kids, she gets up early and takes off with my daughter so I can’t spend the day with her and its usually just my son and I that spend the day together.
She is basically trying to minimize the time I spend doing those fun things with my daughter as she is jealous of the bond I have with our son. Just so wrong, basically she hates me being super dad and the kids being all over me all the time.
Over the last few months I see the dirty work of her mother coming out in her, she tells me she hates the boat, hates the beach, hates camping, hates my friends and hates my family, she should not even know of the word hate, but her mother is such a hateful person that dislikes all the things I do and is brainwashing my precious innocent daughter to hate all these things because she does. It’s a form of child abuse, a serious form of child abuse.
I asked her, but darling you always loved the boat and fishing, you love going on adventures with dad, why do you hate it now?
She replies, because Mummy hates it and I want to copy her!
All the things I do with my children are natural and fun, most kids would love doing the things I get up to with my kids, I am a very outgoing and adventurist man and It was the way that I live my life that developed such a strong bond with my son. It kills me that when I am not around or at work, she is at work enforcing hatred into my children’s heads, degrading me, slagging me and making me out to be a bad person, I have never done such a thing and it scares me to think how she can pollute my daughters mind when we separate in the following few weeks.
It should be recognized as a crime and these nasty bitches should be prosecuted for it!
travis smith
26. Jan, 2012
My daughter lived with me for the first 3 years of her life, I had went to jail and her mother came and took her from my wife and moved out of state. I am now being accused of molesting her and I have not been able to see. Or talk to her for over a year.BM won’t tell cps of these allagations she just puts it all over the internet and spreads all these lies about me. She tells my daughter I am a looser because I went to jail and that I don’t. Want to be a dad. BM tells her to call her new boyfriend dad. Me and my wife are currently begining the fight for custody…..I just hope it is not to late!!!
Brittney
01. Feb, 2012
Well im sure theres a reason for your child not talking to you any more. If there’s truly not then they will resent the mother for “brainwashing” them when their old enough to figure it out. I havent talked to my “dad” in a year and I never will again. He’s a lowlife who abused my mom and me for years. As far as I’m concerned if the mom dosnt want her child around you its for a damn good reason. And really you guys went to jail and you think you have a right to see that child. Fuck that, you dont deserve that child.
dee
02. Feb, 2012
Brittney, You may have a good reason to reject YOUR father, but don’t be too judgemental of someone who has spent time in jail. As you grow up, you will see that people make mistakes, and hopefully they learn from them. Should they lose their parental rights because they make mistakes? Possibly, if that mistake was abusive to their child, but many times people end up in jail for other reasons. You will hopefully mature and realize that carrying arounf the hate and anger will negatively affect you having a healthy relationship with a man someday. You need to learn to forgive, for yourself.
There are many good Dads out there that are being punished by the mother of their children for various reasons. Many times it is a woman who has been rejected by the father of her child, and the “payback” is to brainwash the child to hate him. You see how this anger continues, from generation to generation? Is it fair to the dad to not see his child simply because she has a problem with the fact he is not in love with her anymore, and has moved on? Should he pay for this with having visitation withheld, or lies spoken about him?
admin
03. Feb, 2012
Brittney,
Unless a father has committed a violent act against his child, and he’s in jail for that, he should have every right to see his offspring. Does a woman who is jailed for killing a person for whatever reason deserve to never see her kids again? Each circumstance demands evaluation, but I feel you’re too quick to pull the trigger on denying a father his kids.
Mike
10. Feb, 2012
I’m here at this site and wishing I wasn’t. A week ago my mother-in-law made up something and yelled at me for it in front of my son, age 4. This was way out of line and unfortunately not many options exist for getting my narcissistic mother-in-law to recognize she has a problem. My wife and I tried speaking with my mother-in-law about her abusive tirade and the potential harm this has. She didn’t flex – convinced still I was at fault (for nothing) and DESERVING of her wrath. Mother-in-law just can’t get it that even if what she imagined I did had occurred, she should have picked a different place and time when my son wasn’t present to address it privately with me. Mother-in-law clings to the belief that emotionally violent narcissistic rage is entirely appropriate because that’s just the way she is. On the advice of professional help, my wife and I are no longer letting my son stay at my mother-in-law’s while we’re at work and he’s not in preschool. It’s a drastic step and I feel badly since my son does deserve to have some kind of relationship with his grandparents, and he does miss them. That relationship is on hold until I at least get minimal respect as a Dad, my wife and I know that, she gets marginally more respect than I do. Does anyone have any experience or recommendations for dealing with a mother-in-law who’s narcissistic and how to establish new boundaries? What do I tell my son when he asks why he can’t see them?