Brainwashing Tool #16: Not showing them your letters

One thing commonly done by a parent who wants you to have minimal contact to “their” son or daughter is to not show them cards or letters you mail.

You can send postcards, a birthday card, a Valentine’s Day card, whatever. But a parent bent on harming his or her own child’s relationship with the other parent will pass those right along to the trash.

What to do?

Whenever you send a letter or card, remind yourself a week later to ask your son or daughter if they received it. If they didn’t then it’s time to speak to the parent. Explain how you expect letters you send to please be forwarded to the child. Don’t be angry with them, just state kindly but firmly that you would request that correspondence be shared with the child.

You can also start sending your postcards or letters to the child’s school. I’ve done this for quite some time. I address the letter to the teacher, my son, and the entire 3rd grade class. I’m sending them from different countries, so it provides a source of learning and entertainment for everyone. If you’re in the same city all the time this won’t work quite as well, but you get the idea. Explain to the teacher what’s going on, and he or she will be more than happy to field a few letters or postcards.

If that doesn’t work, then it’s time to air your grievance in front of a judge. Contact your lawyer.

This is just one of many forms of mental child abuse. Denying the other parent’s love towards their child one small step at a time…


About John

John Thomas Steinbeck is a parental alienation consultant. He and his son's relationship was under attack in a deplorable campaign of parental alienation. In this blog, John shares his insights, techniques, and tools in combating emotional child abuse. He did it-- today his son's love has been restored-- and you can too!