Comments for Brainwashing Children

Comment on The 10 Commandments of Divorced Parenting by admin

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:26:57 +0000

Thanks, Gayla! Couldn’t agree with you more.

-John

Comment on Narcissistic mother, narcissistic father – here are their traits by admin

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:12:14 +0000

Hey RR, please post your question over in our forums, http://www.brainwashingchildren.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?2-Is-your-child-being-brainwashed, and I’ll reply to you there. Comments here are for comments only, full conversations on issues my readers are dealing with take place on the forums. See you there…

Comment on The narcissistic parent by admin

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:09:33 +0000

You’re right, Constance… these narcissists can wreak emotional devastation on everyone around them. In dealing with the worst offenders, the more distance from them… the better.

Comment on Brainwashing children: The four levels of abuse by admin

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:06:26 +0000

Amen, we all have to stay strong while facing these unhappy– and in many cases evil– people. They have no qualms about destroying an innocent child’s own parent! I like your term, “Beat Down Dad.” Thanks for your feedback… -John

Comment on Narcissistic mother, narcissistic father – here are their traits by admin

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:01:09 +0000

Looking for Advice, please post your question in our forums > http://www.brainwashingchildren.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?2-Is-your-child-being-brainwashed, and I will reply to you there. I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through… – John

Comment on Brainwashing and custodial parents by admin

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 04:59:38 +0000

Kari,

Please post your question in our forums > http://www.brainwashingchildren.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?2-Is-your-child-being-brainwashed, and I will reply to you there. Stay strong! -John

Comment on Brainwashing and custodial parents by Kari Vandyk

Kari Vandyk — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:44:48 +0000

My son is turning 5 in March 2012. I have temporarily placed my son with my parents until my court case is amended from court due to CAS worker being mentally unstable and has been institutionalized.
My parents in which I trusted to maintain the same routines and healthy lifestyle my son is used to, has been subjected to the brainwashing by my own mother. As hard as it is to admit she has done some ireversable damage to my relationship with her as well as manipulating my son into saying things my son wouldnt even think about unless he was coached. he is a thomas the train lover (thats all he does) how on earth did he come up with he cant have a bath at home here, because its rusty? or better yet he isnt supposed to hug mommy or kiss mommy on the cheek because he will get the flu? or the best one my mom convinced him that he could have a shower with her both being naked!!! I am outraged! I immediately called the police who told me they cant do anything because family and childrens services are involved. So I called them made a formal complaint. its been 2 weeks and he is still there. How much more does my child have to endure before I end up in jail for protecting my child? CAS wont do anything. what am i supposed to do as a single mom already in court fighting to get him back, my lawyer is ready to let the judge know everything that is happening to my son while in the care of his grandparents, thankgod. But what if the judge doesnt believe it? my mom even told me that she had a shower with him when I asked. Im afraid that i made a huge mistake asking them to watch over him. I was assaulted as a 6 year old, now im wondering if the person accused was the real person or was it my mom?

Comment on Narcissistic mother, narcissistic father – here are their traits by Looking for Advice

Looking for Advice — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 23:44:01 +0000

Okay I’ve divorced for a year already, but the damage actually began occurring 16 yrs ago. What started out as a friend helping me with my eldest son because the father wasnt pulling his weight…..turned into a relationship that by all rights never should have been because while we were friends I could tell something just wasnt right about his family. We would be out for the day & would stop by the house for a few moments & his mom would come walking in acting all kissy kissy with her kids…..tryin so hard to make it seem as though her family was more like the Brady Bunch. Much of the time I felt like I was in some bad Twilight Zone show…..I was always looking for cameras lol. Being the open-minded person that I am I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Well during our relationship I began to have flashbacks of my childhood & of course my mom wasnt exactly the greatest mom in the world herself, but she was always a good provider. During her times as a single mom, I had been molested & abused on many different accounts & my family tried desperately to intervene, but my grandparents (whom tried to take custody of me) were told they were too old so the abuse continued with my family members sitting helpless on the side lines not sure how to help. Anyway, the flashbacks that seem to occur always came out of nowhere…..usually when i was in the middle of taking care of my oldest son so my ex being the nice guy would come in and take over so I could get away to clear my mind. Well eventually as time went on the flashbacks got better & I became a bit more able to handle things, but living in the same state as my family I was placed in constant chaos between my family and his. If my mom wasnt degrading me then his mom was asking questions such as “If you had to chose between your girlfriend or me, who would you chose?” What mother honestly does that to her own kid??? We were consenting adults just tryin to get ourselves together so we can actually make a life. Well eventually the situation became worse. His parents divorced in 1997. It came out of the blue, but I suspected his dad had been having an affair. I brought it up to his mom & she became irate. I’m not actually surprised by it since she always tried so desperately to make it look like she had an awesome family & was so loved by her kids as well as spouse. Anyway through the divorce most of the truth began to surface, but having come from a divorced family myself I knew the ones who usually paid were the children & even though these kids at this point were all adults even they paid heavily with that divorce. During all of this I was hearing different things from his mom such as one moment it was that she felt badly about the way my mom treated me, but then it was my fault her son & ex husband got into a fight or it was my fault that her son had a heartattack…..eventually this all lead into comments such as I would never make a good mother because I had been abused…..I shouldnt be tryin to make anything out of myself because I have kids and they need me home. “My son should be the one promoted not you. You dont need to be spending so much time at work.” It got to the point after hearing this so often and not having anyone to talk to that I began to believe alot of it & I fell into a very deep depression. My oldest and middle son wound up going to Foster care & then the kids were split up one lives with my mom and the other lives with his mom. And since our split up he moved back to FL to live with his mom, filed for divorce when my youngest son was suppose to be coming to spend the summer with me in Savannah & I havent seen my son now since 2009 when they headed back to FL. Yes I am leaving alot of info out because my situation is very long & frustrating. Most of it is very negative and I sometimes wish I had really acknowledged the red flags cause there were too many to count, but much of the time I was in a lose/lose situation & had noone to turn too so I couldnt find a way out, but my current problem is this. Even though my divorce papers state that I am suppose to have 51 days a year with my youngest son. I have not seen him in 2 yrs. I have done all I can do in the situation, but everytime I make arrangement to get my children…..they come up with some excuse as to why the children cannot go. I do not have the money for an attorney due to the economy being so rough & the fact that I havent worked in 5 yrs. I’m at the end of my rope. Now my middle child has told me on several occasions that his dad is mean to him and that the family yells at him. He called me one day with a horrific story of child abuse claiming his father punched him & that his grandma did nothing about it & since I will not live in FL anymore due to all the chaos & my fear that they will try something….I contacted DCF to file a report. When the case worker went to investigate my son claimed that I had misunderstood him and he never said that……but yet he had his baby brother tell me it happened & my youngest knows better than to lie to me & he also had his Aunt who is mentally challenged tell me it happened & of course I believed him because I thought I could. According to all accounts he is doing well in school, but since he has begun doing Tae Kwon Do and entered Junior High he seems to have become more aggresive….making threats to his older brother to beat his ass & hanging out with kids that seem to have home issues themselves. I just dont know what to do & to top it all off I get a call from the same case worker that informed me about all the meds my ex is taking. He suffered a stroke this past summer & has lost the ability to walk so he’s been in therapy plus they cant get his blood pressure meds adjusted correctly so his blood pressure is always either too high or too low. The concern the case worker had was not for my 12 year old, but for my 8 year old whom my ex husband filed for custody of behind my back & apparently she claimed that all the meds he is on made her question whether he can care for the child, but nothing has been done about it. My ex admits that the meds make him sleep all the time & there is no actually adult in the house…..the great-grandmother is 84 and on a walker as well as the sister is mentally challenged so I just dont know what more to do. I am suppose to be gettin the boys for Spring Break, but I doubt that one is gonna happen because they want me to fork out all this money to pick them up and bring them back which I cannot due. As it is my fiancee and I are using our rent and utility money to pay just to go get them. My eldest one will be coming up as well, but his arrangements have already been taken care of. My parents will be picking him up at the end of the week. I have asked them if they would be willing to take the other 2 back & they refuse to be involved because as it is they are never permitted to see their own grandchildren. So honestly I’m stuck!!!! If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated……I can use all the help I can get…..Thanks

Comment on Narcissistic mother, narcissistic father – here are their traits by barbara

barbara — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:29:32 +0000

My son and his wife have been separated three years, they have one sone now 6; the mother is engaged to another but still married, she is an entertainer. She has told their son that I am evil and everyone loves her and that if they don’t love her they can’t love her son. I wasn’t allowed to speak to my grandson for 12 weeks because she told lies about something I did, I live thousands of miles away and work 14 hour days; I don’t get involved. Last night my grandson was at the babysitter and he wanted to speak to me and told me that I had to talk to his mother, love her hang out with her then all would be ok , that he liked my hugs and when I visit but I was evil and tricking him and that if I did anything wrong his mother and boyfriend planned to put me underground. I had a good relationship with my grandson and when I said I loved him, he said I was evil and if I didn’t love his mommy I didn’t love him, I said I loved his father but he said that wasn’t true and mommy told daddy that he had to get rid of me.
I’m staying away and not pushing anything, one I think they need to get a divorce. she writes things in facebook that everyone loves her her finance and including her ex and his brother, isn’t she a lucky gal to be so loved. He is six years old, he should not be brainwashed like this, my son should deal with it, so I’m staying out of it but fear for my grandson who now hates school because he can’t wear pretty clothes he has to be like the others, his mother put a shirt on for class pictures instead of uniform and they took it off and he wore a t-shirt and couldn’t be in the group picture, he has missed 18 days 10 tardies in 1st grade, she pulls him out of school and now told him he will travel the world with her. I’m afraid for him.

Comment on Brainwashing children: The four levels of abuse by heather

heather — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 14:24:44 +0000

I have found your site extremely informative and i hope it helps my boyfriend know that he is not alone in this. i feel so bad for him. he is an awesome dad and is battling with this issue. I have never seen or heard of a woman so controlling and evil in my personal life. my sons dad was never involved in his life and i so badly wish he would have been. its so sad to see a perfect man that so deeply loves his children and so badly wants to be the great father that he is have to go thru this pain and agony caused by a greedy psychotic disgruntled ex wife. I can not imagine how deeply miserable this woman is. the work she puts into destroying a good mans life is ridiculous! im sorry to those out there that are in the same boat as my boyfriend. and we have come to understand why so many men just walk away. i think the term “dead beat dad” is used to loosly and fact is the majority should probably be labeled “beat down dad” instead. hang in there all of you that struggle in a situation like this. stay strong and remember..its NOT the childs fault! good luck!