Educational Child Abuse

Educational child abuseEducational Child Abuse is the harm done to a child by a parent or caretaker who deliberately keeps the child out of school, taking them out repeatedly early, or otherwise preventing a healthy child from being in school consistently.

Although this blog deals extensively with mental child abuse, I thought I’d expose a growing problem that’s also abusive to innocent children.

The motivation is usually a very selfish one of the parent: they’re either too emotionally dependent on the child so they keep them at home, or they are too lazy to ensure that  the child is in school on time every day.

Parents that are capable of educational child abuse are usually abusive in other manners as well. So if a child is being educationally abused, there’s a high likelihood that the child is also being mentally, sexually, medically, or physically abused.

An interesting phenomenon is that of child abuse when the child is being home schooled. There is a serious argument to be made that children are more susceptible to being abused when they are yanked out of school and placed into home schooling. With home schooling, the signs of any form of abuse can very easily be hidden from the public. After all, many of the reports of abuse to authorities are made by schools across America.

Remember Andrea Yates, the mother who drowned her five children in Texas? Not that there’s a defined connection, but her children were home schooled…

Educational child abuse is not yet well documented as a form of “child abuse,” but it’s clearly takes place in too many households and needs to be exposed.



About John

John Thomas Steinbeck is a parental alienation consultant. He and his son's relationship was under attack in a deplorable campaign of parental alienation. In this blog, John shares his insights, techniques, and tools in combating emotional child abuse. He did it-- today his son's love has been restored-- and you can too!
  • Elizabeth M Marsh

    Although not entirely related, you might be interested in these thoughts.

    First, it was child abuse, then it was bullying – as if both were new occurrences. Now, it is cyber-stalking. A subtle way of accusing someone that like as not cannot be easily refuted. Similarly, as with child abuse, this is another campaign largely driven by negative ideology that implies that someone is guilty.

    It is not easy to challenge such rhetoric. Few doubt that abuses exist – yet the scale is insignificant compared to any other crime. Despite this, abuse is given a disproportionate level of coverage making it seem bigger, or greater, or worse than it actually is. Any worthwhile debate is rendered virtually impossible, or instantly silenced by critics, for who could reason that child abuse ain’t what it’s cracked up to be, and not be condemned for saying so?

    What the ‘experts’ refuse to acknowledge is that it is the fear of child abuse that drives many people’s thinking, rather than the occurrence of it per se. Yet the experts’ response to abuse is to ‘protect’ those affected. Were this any other event in one’s life – the loss of a loved one, or a pet, or a traffic accident, or fire ravaging their home etc., that child would not be given the prominince that they are when the subject is abuse.

    How can any child survive such scrutiny? If a child goes into hospital for a broken leg, the doctors are likely to recommend that the patient is up and about as soon as possible. Whilst the child may take time to recover from such an event, they do not subsequenly think, or worry about it for the rest of their lives. Why would they?

    Yet abuse of all kinds is viewed very differently.

    The question the experts refuse to consider is why do they give abuse such prominence? Why do they not give consideration to ‘intent’ when alleged abuses occur? Without allowing for intent, the perpetrator is automatically perceived as ‘guilty’.

    My hope must be that one day, the world will right itself again and that when it does, all those guilty of fomenting such skewed ideology, and for declaring it to be sound when it is not – that their voices will be silenced, and that it will be their words that will ultimately condemn them for the damage they have inflicted.

    A camera shot is simply a reflection of something that is real, it is not reality in itself.

  • Kepha

    Although I’m a public school teacher, I’m wary about the article entitled “Educational Child Abuse”. It seems a sly dig at all parents who homeschool.

    Granted , there are few parents who are capable of being truly objective about their kids and their kids’ abilities. But teachers aren’t always as objective and fair-minded towards their charges as we’d all like to believe, either. Further, as a social studies teacher, I find that many curricula and textbooks are riddled with a combination of bias and a fear of lawsuit, so we’re stuck teaching only a dull, watered-down pablum instead of the richness that history really is.

    And schools themselves can be abusive places, especially with kids abusing kids. That happens simply because there are so many of the young and so relatively few adults in one place; and many of those adults are themselves barely out of or stuck in a delayed adolescence themselves.

  • admin


    Thanks for your feedback.

    The article mentioned homeschooling in passing. It wasn’t my intent to demean it.

    Good point about schools not necessarily being the safe haven we often automatically assume they are.


  • Sandi

    I am a step parent to a child who lives with her mother…..she is currently going into the 6th grade…..she never attended kindergarten which to me is horrible in todays world kindergarten is such an important foundation she then missed 6 weeks of first grade was late 25 time that year and has missed signifigant amounts of school every year since….she lives in pennsylvania where they have a crazy view on no child left behind …she has been recommended for summer school every year and up until last summer really did not know how to read until i took the time to teach her…..her mother has been on the brink of being charged and yet no one does anything…..because she lives 3 hours away our hands are tied when it comes to fixing this my husband has called and emailed the school and nothing has come out of it… is this child ever going to understand the importance of having a job and being successsful in life when she doesnt understand that school is like a job and you have to go in order to get anything out of it…..unfortunatly all she sees is that she can stay home sick or not and just watch tv all day and her mom is fine with it……we have gone to court showed then report cards and emails and they havent done anything…..her mother has not had a job in 10 years …lives on welfare has 4 children with 3 different people and this is the person that this child has to look up to…..and yet we are the horrible ones that have too many expectations ….i just dont understand

  • Deb

    My husband and I have been experiencing educational abuse and brainwashing with the mother of his two teenage sons. Last year she sabotaged the academic career of her oldest son and convinced him that we were trying to ruin his life by having him apply to colleges and do well in his senior of high school. She turned off his alarm clock, convinced him to sleep in. The mother also set up a high tech gaming den in her living room and encouraged the boys to game and watch television when they should have been studying. Every other week when they were with her, they were frequently late to school and often did not turn in homework assignments. The end result is that the oldest son tanked his senior year in high school, scored below the national average on his SAT’s, refused to fill out his FAFSA. This summer when he saw his peers leaving for college, he panicked and showed up several times at our house sobbing about now wanting to go to college. We did everything we could to assist him through the paperwork and barely got him in to a local community college. The older son spent his summer living full time with his mother, refused to get a part time job and wiled away his days sleeping and gaming online.We are trying our best to help the younger son get a better GPA, turn in homework, and not bring his laptop to school (where he uses it for gaming at the back of the class). We are having the same pattern again with the mother, She has told the younger son to bring his laptop to school, disregard our insistence to do his homework and other nonsense that we are trying to ruin his life. We never bad mouth the mother in front of the boys. We model good behavior, try to be the best parent and step parent that we can be. My husband does alot of volunteer work in the school (coaching athletics) and it is not unusual to go to the grocery store and have other parents come to us and tell us what a great job we are doing with the boys. I am distraught at what almost seems a hopeless situation in watching these high IQ boys flounder academically. Yesterday the mother had the older boy send his father a text message that said “Screw you” when he asked his son to come over and help him build a rock climbing wall in the backyard.Has anyone else been in this situation where the mother will destroy her childrens’ academic careers to get revenge on the father? The really weird thing is that nine years they got divorced because she came out as a lesbian!

  • Jooolzi

    I am going through almost the same things with my partners two young girls at this moment. The children live with their mother and are on the UK child protection register due to her consistent abuse. The girls have had 60% school attendance for nearly 3 years now and have gone from being in the gifted and talented set to average and below. Mother keeps them at home as an emotion crutch and has come out with numerous issues as to why they are not in school: father will kidnap them (although they visit us regularly); bullying, social services won’t provide a taxi;unable to control them; its raining. She constantly presents them with health problems and an investigation is underway as to whether she has Munchausen by proxy. We went on holiday last week and the youngest girl turned up with crutches and her ankled bangaded saying the hospital told her not to put any pressure on it. She hadn’t even been to the hospital yet she has had numerous visits for broken arms and sprained ankles since living with her mother. The house is borderline neglect with over 20 animals in it but she cannot afford a £3 bra for her daughter – its had fly investations the lot, animal faeces etc and even a sex offender in the house with them! Mother has borderline personality disorder. She has brainwashed the children to not eat our food, to wee their beds when they visit (ages 13 and 11). CHildren are brainwashed by her into staying with her and because the say they want to be there Social Services will not move them. We are having to prepare a case against the County Council now for failing to get them in school!

  • Rivaee

    Wait,not trying to be rude or cause an argument,but Andrea yates ,drowning her 5 children,has almost nothing I can see in common besides,home schooling. She was not supose to keep having kids because she was so mentally ill,the parents we discuss here,know exactly what they are doing,anyone agree?

  • matthew

    I have friends who are well educated and homeschool but my children are homeschooled because they aren’t able to cope with public school and my ex lets them make the choice to go or not! I don’t know if she is qualified to teach, she is a highschool drop out and I am left out of any decisions regarding the kids,even visitation! The kids are put in the position to make all important choices. Homescooling can be the best choice but Whatch Out! I may never have a relationship with my kids and homeschooling keeps them away from the world and different perspectives.Homeschooling is a used as a tool to control my kids and it could

  • matthew

    I have friends who are well educated and homeschool but my children are homeschooled because they aren’t able to cope with public school and my ex lets them make the choice to go or not! I don’t know if she is qualified to teach, she is a highschool drop out and I am left out of any decisions regarding the kids,even visitation! The kids are put in the position to make all important choices. Homescooling can be the best choice but Whatch Out! I may never have a relationship with my kids and homeschooling keeps them away from the world and different perspectives.Homeschooling is a used as a tool to control my kids and it helped ruin my kids!

  • Brenda Melton

    I am seeing this type pf abuse first hand right now. I have an 8 year old child living with me who was taken from his family and kept under lock and key for over 4 years. Always inside the house, along with several other kids taken by the same person for the same reasons.
    This child has never been in school and they claimed he was being homeschooled. He was taken by CPS andnow has to try to learn ABC’s and numbers, how to read, be with other kids in a class room. How to go to the lunch room and choose foods he has never seen before. Try to fit into all the diffrent interactions that kids learn from being sent out into the world while very young. This child will be affected by this mental child abuse the rest of his life. Educational abuse is a very serious form of child abuse.
    Home schoolers take their children to do all kinds of things everyday. True homeschooler are careful to get things right.

    This abuser used the excuse of homeschooling to try to get out of the real abuse she was doing to all these children every day. No school is only a small part of her plan.

    We have this child safe now but there are so many kids out there being treated the same or worse. Please keep your eyes open and report abuse when you think it is going on. A tip from a stranger is what helped save these kids this time. Thank you

  • Meadow

    David Daubenmire Feb, 2012
    We must rescue our children. They are perishing.
    We are losing our children. No amount of self-denial can powder-over the Truth. Our children no longer share our values.
    Helen Keller said, “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” We can see, but we don’t understand. Let me scream it!!
    The evidence is everywhere. I could quote you a bevy of statistics to prove it, but most of you are in such a state of denial that you will reject it. Rejecting knowledge is worse than ignorance. Willfully ignorant…hear no evil…see no evil…speak no evil…
    Don’t worry, be happy!!
    The culture is EATING your kid’s lunch. No wait. The culture is devouring your children. They are being chewed up and spit out. The landscape is strewn with the Spiritual carnage.
    Our Lord will not treat lightly your disregard for the well-being of one of His children. He has entrusted them into your care. His warning is chilling:
    “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” -Matt: 18:6
    You are an accessory to a crime. You have turned the training of your children over to the enemy. You have caused them to stumble…you have caused them to sin.
    You have all of the excuses…”we can’t afford it”…”we are not qualified”…”the schools need our children to be salt and light”…”our schools are not that bad…”
    Look around Buster. You are deceiving yourself. The public schools are destroying your children and you are the one who is responsible.
    Permit me to paraphrase a Scripture. “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and LOSE HIS CHILDREN?!”
    Sometimes I wonder if we know how to love our children.
    Get them out of the government schools! Cease and desist…Run for your lives…flee immorality!
    Wake up Dude!! Save yourself some heartache!! Rescue your children!
    Children are the future. Peer into the looking glass. It ain’t pretty. We are facilitating our own demise.
    Some things to consider:
    • Many of your child’s classmates would never be welcomed into your home.
• Jesus is not honored in government schools no matter how “Christian” the teacher is.
• Childhood rape and molestation by teachers is skyrocketing in America’s schools.
• Many of your child’s teachers are amoral at best. The child becomes like his teacher.
• Do you know what the teacher believes? Is he/she someone your child should model?
• Seven hours of school per day…one hour of Sunday school per week. Duh!
• Would your church permit your child’s teacher to teach from the Sunday pulpit?
• Does your school teach the values of your church?
• Caesar teaches the values of Caesar. Do your kids belong to Caesar or to God?
• Do you know what senior boy has his sights set on your freshman daughter? 
• Who is defending your daughter’s honor at school? Who is protecting her innocence?
• When your child is lost to the world what would you give to get him/her back?
    Cut the crap. Cut the excuses. Quit lying to yourself.
    It is time to rescue the perishing.
    So here is a plan. Begin working it today. Set a goal and put the plan into action.
    Begin homeschooling your children. Don’t believe the lie that the education establishment is dishing up. You don’t need a degree in education to educate a child. God entrusted you with the children. He wants YOU to implant a belief system in them. Christians must teach our values to our children. The government will teach the children the government’s values.
    Did you watch the Super Bowl half-time show? Why do you think the NFL chose Madonna? They KNOW the values of the culture…the values of the government-educated masses. You think your child’s school is different…better? Do you need your head examined?
    The internet is FULL of great home-school resources. “It costs little or nothing to provide students with a self-educating program. Technology is decentralizing. Parents can find a wide variety of programs for children with varying skills. The delivery system is essentially free if you have high speed internet access. The main cost now is time.”
    Once a student learns self-education, he is ready for AP, CLEP, and DSST exams. For under $2,000, a student can quiz out of the first two years of college. This is where most of the indoctrination goes on. The home school student reads a textbook, does the usual cramming, takes the exam, and forgets the textbook. All students do this. But this way, colleges do not make a dime. -Gary North.
    Start a home-school co-op in your church. Partner with other parents who are facing the same dilemma as you. Churches by the thousands are sitting empty during the week while God’s children are trained by Caesar and his acolytes.
    Open the building, Pastor. Invite home-schoolers to make use of the facilities. Create an atmosphere where parents can help teach each other’s children. One parent handle math, another science. Charge five bucks per head and bring in challenging speakers and educators for a day. Meet once or twice per week. Use the internet. Guide the education of your children. Control the peers they associate with. Take them on group field trips to reinforce the values you are teaching. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There is plenty of help. You can do it!!
    We must re-link education and Christian values. We have one-generation…tops…to reclaim this culture. Secular education cannot do it. That is not their goal. Their goal is equality, no one smarter than anyone else. Government controls the curriculum.

    Downsize your house. Sell one of the cars. Get rid of some of the toys! It is not a question of whether you can afford it. It is a question of can you afford not to!!
    “Government schools can’t teach reading, writing, and arithmetic – why should we trust them to teach morality, respect, and character? If public education does for ethics what it’s done for learning, we’ll end up with a generation of immoral, disrespectful, and characterless students.” -Steve Dasbach
    Government education is destroying our children. It is destroying America. Stick your head in the sand if you want. That will not change the facts. Our children are perishing.
    LOOK IN THE MIRROR. The Lord has entrusted them to you. Stop giving them “stuff” and start investing “You” into them. For heaven’s sake, do your duty. Rescue them!

  • Pingback: Mentally abusive parents frequently abuse on other levels too | Brainwashing Children()

  • Sennea

    I decided to home school because I find that the public schools in my area are quick to classify and medicate. If a child is “emotionally disturbed”, using psychotropic drugs on *them* is futile.

    It’s not out of the ordinary for someone to be depressed or behave strangely when they are dealing with bullying from kids and teachers alike at school, and then an abusive parent every other weekend or so on top of that. If they are “disturbed”, maybe it’s for a good reason.

    It is an abuse to force your beliefs on your children – religion, politics, or whatever. You’re not encouraging them to be authentic human beings – so that’s actually not much different from public schools.

  • Donna George

    I am due in court on Friday as I try to fight an Alienating Parent who is also educationally abusing our son. When he took our 14 year old on January 8th, my son had very good attendance and was passing 8th grade. He missed 80 of 95 school days the second semester, resulting in failure and now repeat of his grade. Before we split, my ex had taken our son out of school to homeschool him, despite my refusal. He never signed in to his online classes, and was dropped from the program, of course. Then I was blamed for the failure, despite my refusal of homeschooling from the start. I wish I knew then what I know now about parental alienation.

  • Lorie

    The comparison of child abuse and loss of a pet are apples and oranges. Intentional infliction of pain physically, mentally, emotionally is significantly worse than dealing with life cycles. In addition, why would intent be important regarding the caregiver who breaks the children’s bones, beats, starves, tortures them? It is wrong in every sense of the word. A broken leg from an accidental fall may help children avoid certain kinds of behavior to protect themselves. When a child is being abused there is nothing they can do to protect themselves. It does sound like you are condoning child abuse and are forwarding your ideology to excuse the behavior.
    18 month old beaten to death. He was not able to protect himself.

  • Bart Poort


    It’s disgusting to see caregivers display narcissistic behavior when it comes to narcissists.

    Let’s fight fire with fire!

    “Tell the child the parent is a mechanical monster, the child is forever a victim, there is no hope, and he should do as we tell him to feel and act or he is condoning his abuse!”

    Hmmm… Reminds me of something… doesn’t it.

    I am afraid to speak up as a victim because I am not allowed to express what I really feel, people want me to feel small.