Parental alienation: Grieving the loss of a child who’s still alive


Parental alienation is a vicious form of child abuse.

If you think about the parents that have been turned against their own child or children, many of them are essentially grieving over the loss of a child who’s still alive.

Let’s be honest, many of these alienators wish you were dead. That’s the reality. By removing you from the child’s life, the children’s life, what difference is it– there’s no funeral, but you are away from them and if it was up to them there would be no father or mother for this child or children.

It’s really sick.

Let’s be honest, the parents that go full bore in a campaign of alienation, are mentally ill. Let’s call it for what it is. There’s something wrong with them, morally speaking. Their moral compass is broken. What parent, even in the midst of a break-up, wants to see that child suffer?

The alienator does.

It’s a real sick and twisted form of child abuse.

About John

John Thomas Steinbeck is a parental alienation consultant. He and his son's relationship was under attack in a deplorable campaign of parental alienation. In this blog, John shares his insights, techniques, and tools in combating emotional child abuse. He did it-- today his son's love has been restored-- and you can too!
  • Ann Marie Escamilla

    Your description of having your child tortured by PAS is dead-on; I have been mourning my daughter since she was an infant …. I cannot thank you, enough, for creating this site, and publishing the e-book. My daughter is, just, 4 years of age-the brainwashing of her has been done he “grandparents”(my parents)…She began showing signs of PAS over one year ago; in the space of the last 8 months, during which I, her 48-year-old mother, have been prevented from being with her, at all, my happy, healthy, little baby has become a ghost(during this time she has been “cared for” by, primarily, the instigator of the brainwashing, my 82-year-old sociopathic father(who just happens to be a retired M.D.) It is too painful to write any more, at present. To be legally-prevented from to saving your own child from this Hell, even when they beg you to “get me out of here,” kills both a mother and child, literally and figuratively….

  • Ann Marie Escamilla

    You are correct-the alienator(s) would rather have you dead…. I can’t believe how exactly your verbiage, in that brief, video-testimony on this matter, has mirrored my own.

  • These alienators, at the severe end, are pretty much all the same…

  • Jernae West

    My mother has been brainwashing my daughter against me for many years. My mother was very limited because my daughter was a minor and she lived with me. But now that my daughter has recently turned 18 years old, she has brainwashed my daughter to move in with her and alienate me. My daughter and I were extremely close and I didn’t think this could even happen. But now, she has to sneak to call me. She has even been scolded by my parents when they found out that she snuck to the hospital to visit me. My mom had CPS seperate my niece from her mom and convinced the doctors that my niece needed to be on multiple psychological medications. She even had my niece calling her mom and my dad, dad – instead of grandma and grandpa. The courts told my mom that they believe she was manipulating my niece’s mind. They even threatened to charge her, but was never charged. I’m seeking tips on how to reverse brainwashing. Please email me at:

  • Tila Quintero

    I thank you so much for this video. It’s something I live with every day for the past 8 years and no one really gets it.

  • Rhonda Ashmore Hammans

    My situation is a bit different. But my heart is broken and I am grieving the loss of my adult daughter. When my daughter was around nine, her sad remarried and she often begged me to go live with him. As a single parent, I knew that she would have a Vetter chance of having a Vetter childhood living with them. I was working all the time and couldn’t let her do any extra agree Scholl stuff. She went to live with them and they proceeded to brain wash my daughter, calling me names, pointing out what I did wrong. They made her call me Rhondahammans@gmail instead of mom. Her new step mom was her mom now. I shrugged it off and told her that they could not hurt me and that she should do what was easiest for her. So years have past and I have always been there for my daughter When she needed help or a place to stay. There is a lot more to this story, but recently, over the past couple of years she has been posting what a wonderful mom she has and would not be where she is today without her. She is not talking about me. She always comments and likes her symptoms posts, but never mine. I love her step mom and I am so grateful that she loves my daughter so much. The more people your children have to love them in their life the Vetter off they will be. Her father was a heavy drinker and was not nice when he was drunk. I had to go and get my daughter on several occasions and have her removed from the house. The last time was for hood. She was a senior in High school. We went with a policy escort to pick up her stuff, which he had put out by the toad. He passed away 2 years ago. Sense then she has been more distant and has criticized everything I do! She doesn’t want me around her kids because I either give them sugar, let them get too dirty, and she even said that I am a bad influence on them and that I am trying to but their love! I am a grandparent. That is what we do! She got really mad at me because I saw a lost on Facebook about her son, my grandson, and asked her to call me. She texted me back and told some details and said is that what you wanted to know, like I was some nosey neighbor or something. I let her know that she hurt my feeling and that I didn’t deserve that. She then sent me a really long message stating everything I had ever done that hurt her, I mean years of stuff She has been holding onto. Little does she realize that she has been very hurtful to me and other family’s members. Of course, I didn’t bring any of that up, but I did respond by saying I was sorry and that I never intended to cause her pain or hurt her in anyway. I told her that I loved her very much. She responds with, that at this point in her life she needs to minimize the stress in her life (she is in nursing school, has two chilfren, boy 6, girl 4 has a home based business, a husband and has recently decided to home school her son) so she feels the need to distance herself from me so I can’t hurt her anymore! I am really stuggling with this. She is my first born and all I have ever wanted for her was for her to be live, happy and successful. My sister’s and my mom have observed my daughter to be a fair-weather friend. She comes around when she needs something. I am at a loss! I never knew when I sent her to live with her sad that I was losing my daughter!