Teaching a child to despise his or her own parent

“If teaching a child to despise his or her own parent isn’t child abuse, what is?” – BrainwashingChildren.com

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About John

John Thomas Steinbeck is a parental alienation consultant. He and his son's relationship was under attack in a deplorable campaign of parental alienation. In this blog, John shares his insights, techniques, and tools in combating emotional child abuse. He did it-- today his son's love has been restored-- and you can too!
  • purdy

    Hi there, I am the non custodial parent of my son( now almost 21) and daughter (now 15) who were 2 and 7 when I left my husband and moved as he was cruel to the children and also got us into debt, I had an alcohol problem back then but have now been sober for almost 10 years, my ex didn’t return the children after a weekend visit and I understand why as I was going drinking and got involved with a man that was violent towards me. I have tried over the years to reconnect with the children and had regular contact, my son moved back home with me about 3 yes ago after his father became increasingly aggressive and volatile towards him including going to punch him and hitting the wall.things were OK with me and my son for a while until I discovered he had started smoking cannibis, he became very disrespectful and threatening towards me to the point that I told him to leave last year, he went back to his fathers and is still there but suffers terribly with IBS! My daughter has been increasingly rude and disrespectful too and last year made allegations of sexual assault against my partner on top of someone reporting me for fraud which resulted in me being arrested.I know that its not my children’s fault, I’m partly responsible for why they feel separated but I feel that my ex has one thing on his mind and that is to destroy me. There are so many cruel things he has done that have affected my children and it kills me to think I can’t do anything to protect them.my heart is breaking with what they’ve been put through and I’m not allowed to speak to my daughter as the court case against my partner is still ongoing.

  • Dodadi

    So it’s all about you still. How does that make you feel: in regards to what may be said about what you thought you were trying to do here with your post; and when it’s easy to see that the value measured to this subject is of a narcissistic parent. Finally, you can be accepted by a community if you’re the only peer in it. Congrats!!

  • purdy

    In response to your post, what I was trying to do with my post was find others who had experienced similar difficulties.

  • JUST ME

    purdy- i am in the exact same situation and now am also being accused of fraud and not allowed to see my granddaughter whom i love dearly. because grandpa said that i was lying in court… i went 10 years not knowing whhere my kids were i found them on facebook

  • kerry

    Hi my ex has told all my 3girls I’m evil a bad mother and so is my partners..he has already got the two older girls to live with him and now my 9year old is calling me evil and every other bad name when I asked her why she thought this of me she said people told her when I asked who would say such things she said dad and her step mum …iv spoken with the school and Ss but when they speek to her she backs down and says its not true ..i cant take much more she steals from my home my purse and gives things to her dad he wont even take to me about me seeing the girls and and I feel like I hitting a brick wall what can I do I’m so lost

  • goodmandawn

    As the victim of domestic abuse no one is the best that they can be. Children who have witnessed their Mother being abused eventually become disrespectful

    towards her, believing their father when he says that she didn’t love them. Believing that her love for him is the cause of her not being able to protect them from their father. The children are not at their best either they don’t understand that the abuser conditioned their mother to be afraid of him, just as he is conditioning them to do what he says. By subjecting her to the cycle of abuse.that includes, verbal, emotional, financial abuse, withholding money from her, taking away or destroying her belongings, instigating arguments,with her family members to isolate her from them. Stalking, hounding,promises to treat her better, threatening her with acts,of violence towards her and other family members, pledging not to give her a dime of support. Playing on her emotions, telling her she is no good, threatening to turn the children against her, mocking her, ridiculing her, blaming her for every thing wrong within their interaction they never had a real relationship. Anything to persuade her to come back he does good for a little and than gets worse. How can a parent be their best while being emotionally ripped apart and subjected to these destructive and debilitating strategies. Uninformed people believe that if the victim would just leave or divorces the abuser that he will automatically stop the abuse. That’s not so the abuser will use the children as a conduit to continue his argument with her and to stay in her life. Her peace of mind, is eventually worn down by the abuse and the victim admits to anything just to be left alone. Even a stone can eventually be worn away by the constant dripping of water on it. No one in your Father’s family can say with truth that he did not behave in this manner they didn’t live with us and were not flys on the wall. Most of their information about me comes from what he said. I love you and apologize for not having access to a counselor to know the right way to handle the disrespect you showed me and the feeling of alienation from me. That allowed your father to gain control of our relationship and household. I knew someone had worked on you I wasn’t sure whether it was my Mother or him. I left your father to escape his effort to force me to be his financial slave. I promised to help pay some of the bills like my Mother did I didn’t promise to pay them all and leave myself with very little money to care for you and Josette. I did everything I could to escape your father and his desire to keep me as a slave. I blew and not knowing thar you had financial