Top actions of an alienating parent

  • Doesn’t inform you of upcoming school activities (especially unexpected ones)parental alienation is child abuse
  • Expresses no enthusiasm for fun events you’re doing with the child (vacations, amusement parks, etc)
  • Limits child’s cellphone and computer usage, so you’ll rarely get a call, text, or email
  • Refers to you by your first name in their home (Dad becomes “David;” Mom becomes “Julie”)
  • Accomplishes a post-visitation shakedown, extracting as much info as possible to find negatives
  • Hands the phone directly to the child when you call, avoiding even civil conversations with you
  • Pops anti-depressant pills (as many have a history of depression)
  • Able to hold resentment towards young, innocent children (ie, your children from another marriage)
  • Never calls you when the child is sick or taken out of school
  • Teaches the child adult things to tell you, such as “I don’t feel comfortable about the duration of our summer visitation, Dad”
  • Teaches the child how to despise or hate another human being
  • Labels themselves the “good” parent; labels you the “bad” parent
  • Tells the child false stories about their childhood
  • Tells the child in vivid detail how he or she was victimized by you (while taking no blame at all for the divorce)
  • Teaches the child how to lie to you (coating their little hearts with false malice and scorn)
  • Diminishes your extended family’s worth
  • Neglects to have the child call you for your birthday, on New Year’s Eve, or other important dates
  • Refuses to help the child reach and call/email/mail cards on relatives’ birthdays on your side of the family tree
  • Uses child’s cellphone as a leash
  • Rarely if ever a call to you on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day on behalf of child
  • Never gets the child excited about seeing you
  • Reminds the child of all that he or she will be missing while with you and away from them
  • Inflicts his or her unhappiness onto the child (as alienators are deeply unhappy people)
  • Attempts via a lawyer to reduce visitation to that even below family court minimum standards
  • Takes the child out of state without a peep, while demands precise details whenever you travel with them
  • Monopolizes the child’s time for hours on the phone (if you let them)
  • Views any event in the child’s life– a distant Aunt’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, etc– as more important than their time with you
  • Teaches the children from their current marriage to despise you
  • Informs children of alienator’s plans for them past 18 (you’ll go to college at X, and will stay here with me)
  • Is jealous of anything fun and memorable you do with the child (as they view the good times as a threat)
  • Gripes about things you’re doing as a parent to the child, but says nothing to you about it
  • Has outbursts around the child (extremely dramatic ones)
  • Lacks a filter,┬áspilling any adult topic into the child’s head

About John

John Thomas Steinbeck is a parental alienation consultant. He and his son's relationship was under attack in a deplorable campaign of parental alienation. In this blog, John shares his insights, techniques, and tools in combating emotional child abuse. He did it-- today his son's love has been restored-- and you can too!